Interstate Grain Service

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THE JOKE

Posted by igselevator on December 22, 2019 at 5:30 PM Comments comments (0)

  After dad passed, my siblings and me had the task of going through all of dad's things. Most of all the furniture and appliances were sold to the man who purchased dad's house trailer. So when the trailer left, a lot of dad's stuff went with it. We were to decide on what was left, if it was wanted by us, was for sale or throwed in the trash. Dad was an author and had written many books, so there were a lot of them to go through. I've read the book he wrote about himself growing up and then meeting mom and "IGS Mystery". This book is about a death at the IGS elevator, it's very good and will keep you in suspense as your trying to figure out who done it. We do have extra copies of this book now on sale at IGS. [shameless plug]. Dad sold some of his more risque books out of the elevator many years ago and from some of the comments from the ladies they said he had either a good imagination or he was a "player" back in the day. The best story I heard was when a elderly neighbor lady of dad's was reading the book to another elderly lady who had lost most of her eyesight. Between flushed faces and a lot of "OH MY" I'm sure they never quite looked at dad in the same way. Dad also was an artist. He seemed to focus on what he called "The Land of Nard" and pictures of the female anatomy. In addition to being an author and artist you can add joke writer to his resume. While going through his things, I found this folded paper with hand drawn pictures and a joke that I believe he wrote. I had never heard this before and the fact it was in all his writing materials were going to give Robert credit for this joke. The theme goes along with everything else I've written about dad in this blog. I read this  in front of my siblings, and we laughed out loud. Everybody who I have since told this joke to gets a big laugh from it. It's been 2 years since dad passed away, but we are still being entertained by his many talents. Here's his joke for your reading pleasure. An elderly woman went to the doctor complaining about her sagging skin. The doctor said there is a new method out. We take all the skin and pull it to the top of your head and tie a knot under your hair. Then we attach a knob to it and anytime you need a facelift, you turn the knob a turn and your skin will be tight again. She said that sounds like a good deal to me, let's do it. So he pulled her skin tight and fastened the knob to the top of her head. Everything worked good, in about six months she noted her skin sagging a little so she reached up, turned the knob a twist and her skin made her look 20 years younger and she was very happy. This went on for ten years, the sagging and the little twist of the knob. After a few years she noted she had to give two twists and then three twists but the skin always tightened up and she was happy. One morning after twisting the knob four big twists, she noted huge bags under her eyes and rushed to the doctor. He took one look at her and said, you've pulled your skin so much,you've pulled your breasts up under your eyes. OH, she said, THAT would explain the goatee. CRAIG



MERRY CHRISTMAS 2019

Posted by igselevator on December 22, 2019 at 4:00 PM Comments comments (0)

  Merry Christmas from all of us here at IGS. Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous 2020. Steve, James, Tom, Kathi, Lyle, Brandon and Craig.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2018

Posted by igselevator on December 24, 2017 at 7:35 PM Comments comments (0)

  Merry Christmas from all of here at IGS. Wishing everybody a happy, healthy and prosperous 2018. STEVE, TOM C., TOM B., JAMES. KAYLA, KATHI, LYLE, MAVERICK AND CRAIG.

EVENTFUL SUMMER

Posted by igselevator on October 11, 2017 at 6:15 PM Comments comments (0)

   It's been so long since I wrote on this blog I'm pretty sure there's not many people checking in daily to see if I wrote anything. A lot of changes have occurred since I last wrote way back in April. Megan had a 7# 5oz 20 1/2 in long bouncing baby girl on April 21 which Megan and her husband Kevin named Brinley Mikala. Megan went on a 10 week maternity leave and then informed me on June 30th she had found other employment. I was sorry to see her go as she had contributed to much of our growth over the 6 years she worked here. But as the saying goes, when the door shuts on one person it opens up the door for another. We put a ad on our facebook page that we were looking for a parttime administrative assistant. We had 6 people fill out a employment application form and we interviewed 2 . We would have hired either person for the job but Kathi Jenson had 25 years experience with Quickbooks and that was the deciding factor. Kathi has done an excellent job since starting especially getting all of the bugs out of our Quickbook program. May 17th was the start of another big event this summer, as I had developed a pain in my lower stomach area the previous Sunday and by Wednesday the 17th I was in so much pain when Karen came home for lunch from work I told her to take me to the hospital. I thought it was my appendix. Now I had only missed 2 days of work in 35 years so for me to go the hospital you know I was in pain. They took a C T scan of my stomach region also thinking it was my appendix, but it came back showing a hole in my colon caused by diverticulitis. They could operate and remove 7 inches of my colin and stay in the hospital for 2 weeks or do nothing and see if it would heal itself with medication and rest and stay 5 to 6 days in the hospital. I chose option 2. While resting in my hospital bed a older Urologist doctor came into my room and wanted to talk to me. He grabbed a chair and put it beside my bed, sat down, crossed his legs, looked at me and said "Craig your a lucky lucky man".At that moment I hadn't felt very lucky, but now the pain was manageable and I asked doc how so. He said when they took a C T scan of my stomach area they noticed a mass on my left kidney about 3mm large and feared it might be cancerous. He said this is something to be really concerned about and once I'm healed from the diverticulitis this will have to be dealt with. I healed from the diverticulitis and more tests were run on my kidney and it was decided the best option was to remove the whole kidney as the mass had  growed into the kidney and partial removal may not get all the cancer. So on Tuesday August 22nd at 7:30 in the morning they removed my left kidney. Everything went so good I was released at noon on Thursday and promptly went back to work with the understanding I couldn't lift more than 10 lbs for 6 weeks. With 24 staples in my stomach I had no plans on lifting anything. I just had my 6 week checkup and doc said everything looked great, a test showed the kidney was cancerous and reiterated again that I was lucky and the fact I had diverticulitis had saved my life as this type of cancer grows unsuspecting and by the time symptons show up the cancer has spread to other parts of the body. I have mentioned many times to people, that I once again have been blessed by the Lord. The last event of the summer was the saddest as the owner and founder of IGS, my dad Robert passed away at the ripe ole age of 86. We had noticed he was looking pale and was weaker than normal and when Rick took dad for his scheduled doctor appointment on Monday the doctor put him in the hospital for dehydration. We had planned to put him in a assisted living place for a week until he got his strength built up, but the morning he was to go to Hiawatha the nurse had helped him back from the restroom, he layed down in bed and had a blank stare on his face. The nurse asked him "are you ok Bob", he said no, closed his eyes and passed away. Just the way he had told us he wanted to go. One of dad's most famous sayings was when people asked him, "how you doing Bob", he would always answer 'I'M up and taking nourishment". I must of heard this answer a thousand times and us kids always joked to him, were going to put on your tombstone "no longer up and taking nourishment". He would just smile at us and say yeah, you probably will. Well we did, check the following picture. I had text my sister in Florida the picture of his tombstone with the inscription on it. She text back, do you think dad is turning over in his grave or has a smile knowing he passed on his sense of humor to his kids. I'm 100% sure it's the latter. R.I.P. Dad. CRAIG





2017 NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT, FINAL UPDATE

Posted by igselevator on April 5, 2017 at 8:35 PM Comments comments (0)

  'I've got to first  correct a error I had made in update #2. I had said nobody across this great nation of ours could possibly have these 4 teams as their final four [ North Carolina, South Carolina, Oregon, Gonzaga] on their bracket sheet. Apparently I was mistaken as I read that ESPN had over 18,000,000 people play their brackets and 647 people had these 4 teams as their final four. I'm sure glad those people didn't play in my bracket challenge as that would of caused me to finish lower than I already did. I really, really sucked this year. I got beat by my sister, "ugh", by my brother twice and by my nephew twice. I also got beat by a pregnant lady, who now looks like she swallowed a basketball, and twice by someone I work with that graduated from Iowa State. "ugh", "ugh'. I got beat by my son-in-law and can you believe by my wife twice ,she doesn't even watch basketball."ugh", "ugh", "ugh". I even got beat by someone named "ChunkyMcRunFast", what the hell is a "ChunkyMcRunFast". I don't know, but he can fill out a bracket sheet better than me. BUT, the most shameful, disgustful, deplorable, despicable, atrocious, inexcusable thing that I did was losing to my eleven year old grandson. He came in first place, doing his first bracket sheet ever. He already makes me look bad playing basketball against him with his fancy dribbling between his legs and juking me out of my shoes, but I really thought I could beat him with my basketball knowledge. Not this year, oh well, life goes on. Listed below are the final standings in what turned out to be the closest tournament brackets ever. I know you all are wondering about who are corporate sponsor is that I have been tirelessly working to get. It was the one and only Dekuypers Peach Schnapps company. They had agreed to give each entrant a bottle of their world renown Dekuypers Peach Schnapps, but when they found out a eleven year old juvenile was playing, because of liabilty issues they had to pull out of their generous gesture. Darn you smart basketball juvenile. After they saw where I placed in the standings he handed me a free bottle of Dekuypers Peach Schnapps and said it looks like you need to drink your sorrows away. Thems the breaks. CRAIG

77, Curry 30

76, Ponch 1

75, The Left Handed Dunker

74 ,Erick not Rick

72, Erick not Ericka

69, Loyal Sons Forever True!

68, Ponch IV

66, Son-in law

65, Hey, Louie!

65, Golf Pro

65, Here I Go Again

64, The Retired Pro-Pac Dribbler

63, Willow's Grandma

63, The Hawaiian Traveler

62, Part Time Trucker

62, ChunkyMcRunFast

61, Maternity Madness

59, Half Court Gunner

59, Victorius Secret

59, Redneck Farmer

58, Sir Can't Jam-a-lot

57, Lay-up Louie

56, Three Point Specialist

55, IHAULYOURGRAIN

54, Cindy Lou Who

54, Porky

51, The Alley-Ooper

50, BASEBALLISCOMING

46, Hoops, There it is!

33, Diary of Anna Franck

2017 NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT, UPDATE #2

Posted by igselevator on March 27, 2017 at 8:15 PM Comments comments (0)

   I'm pretty sure nobody across this great nation of ours, the United States of America, has these 4 teams as their Final Four. What a great tournament, this is why we play the game on the court and not on paper. Gonzaga and South Carolina who both are making their first final four appearance, Oregon who hasn't been there since 1939 and of course perennial powerhouse North Carolina make up our final four. First year player "Curry 30" leads our pool with 68 points, "Ponch 1" is right behind with 67 points. Since they both have the same teams left they look like our number 1 and 2 winners, or do they. "Erick not Ericka" sits back with 61 points but has North Carolina winning the whole thing. If Gonzaga loses and North Carolina wins out we end up with a tie for first place with 72 points each. Then it will come down to the Tie-breaker to decide our champion. If Gonzaga wins only 1 game then "Curry 30" will win no matter what North Carolina does. This has been a fun tournament to keep track of as I have used up  the red ink in one of my losers marker pens. Speaking of losers "Diary of Anna Franck" has turned into a 5 dollar winner for winning, ah, losing last place. Listed below is the current points, final four team and how many possible points you can still score. If your final four team has lost but you can still score points I will put "out" where your team was and if you can't score anymore points I will put "final". Next week I will list the final standings in our bracket challenge and crown all of our winners. See you next week. What? What's that you ask? What about the BIG BIG BIG donation I have been talking about with our possible corporate sponsor you ask. Well, the answer is YES, YES, YES. Stay tuned for next week for the amazing donation and the reveal of who the generous company is. CRAIG

67, Gonzaga,16, Curry 30

66, Gonzaga, 16 ,Ponch 1

65, Final, Hey, Louie!

65, Final, Here I Go Again

64, Out, 5, Loyal Sons Forever True!

63, Final, The Hawaiian Traveler

62, Final, Part Time Trucker

62, Final, ChunkyMcRunFest

61, Out, 5, Son-In-Law

61, Final, Maternity Madness

61, North Carolina,11, Erick not Ericka

60, Gonzaga, 11, Golf Pro

59, North Carolin, 16, The Left Handed Dunker

59, Gonzaga, 11, The Retired Pro-Pac Dribbler

59, Final, Victorious Secret

59, Final, Redneck Farmer

58, North Carolina, 16, Erick not Rick

57, Final, Lay-Up Louie

56, Final, Three Point Specialist

55, Final, IHAULYOURGRAIN

54, Out, 5, Half Court Gunner

54, Final, Cindy Lou Who

54, Final, Porky

53, Gonzaga, 16, Willows Grandma

53, Out, 5, Sir Can't Jam-a lot

52, North Carolina, 16, Ponch VI

51, Final, The Alley-Ooper

50, Final, BASEBALLISCOMING

46, Final, Hoops, There it is!

33, Final, Diary of Anna Fracnk

2017 NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT, UPDATE #1

Posted by igselevator on March 20, 2017 at 7:15 PM Comments comments (0)

   Here are the current standings in our NCAA basketball pool. These are the closest scores after the first weekend that we have ever had in our long history of doing the brackets, as there are over 20 people within 6 points of each other. The standings will change drastically between now and the end of next weekend as some of the leaders teams have succumbed to a better team and have already lost their final champion. I'm also in that group, but my problem is I choose a team on my paper and then cheer for the underdog to win, especially when it is a Big Ten team. I had Villanova winning the whole enchilada but was cheering for Wisconsin the whole game. The game that gave me the most pleasure watching was when South Carolina beat Duke. So what if I had Duke winning. [ I HATE DUKE]. The entrants did a great job with their basketball names and everybody took to heart my recommendation about changing their basketball name to have a better chance of winning as their are hardly any names from last year. Next Monday I will follow with the final four teams and updated standings. OH MY GOSH, the major sponsor is even talking a bigger donation than originally thought. BIG, BIG, BIG. Stay tuned. CRAIG

48, Villanova, The Hawaiian Traveler

48,North Carolina, Erick not Ericka

47,Iowa State, Loyal Sons Forever True!

47, Gonzaga, Curry 30

46, Kansas, Part Time Trucker

46, Arizona, Redneck Farmer

46, Gonzaga, Ponch 1

46, Arizona, The Alley-Ooper

46, Kentucky, Here I Go Again

45, Kentucky, Son-In-Law

45, Kansas, ChunkyMcRunFest

45, Louisville, Hey, Louie!

44, Villanova, Three Point Specialist

44, Duke, Half Court Gunner

43, UCLA, Victorious Secret

43, Gonzaga, The Retired Pro-Pac Dribbler

42, North Carolina, The Left Handed Dunker

42, Duke, Maternity Madness

42, Villanova, Porky

41, Kansas, Baseballiscoming

41, Villanova, Lay-up Louie

41, North Carolina, Erick not Rick

41, Villanova, Cindy Lou Who

41, Gonzaga, Golf Pro

40, Arizona, Can't Jam-a-Lot

40, Villanova, Hoops, There it is!

36, Kansas, IHAULYOURGRAIN

33, Gonzaga, Willow's Grandma

32 ,North Carolina, Ponch VI

27, Iowa State, Diary of Anna Franck

2017 NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT

Posted by igselevator on March 11, 2017 at 6:45 PM Comments comments (0)

   I intentionally have kept quiet about this years basketball tournament until this very moment as I have been diligently working to line up a major sponsor for our annual NCAA basketball tournament. They are this close, [ I'm holding my thumb and finger really close together, I mean really close, but their not touching, you can't even slide a strand of hair between them, that's how close]. But I can't wait any longer, the brackets, with or without a sponsor come out tomorrow. All of the same rules apply as last year. Your 5 dollar donation gets you a chance to test your basketball knowledge or lack of against a lot of people with funny names. We still pay out three places and last place gets your entry fee back as we always say [ all together now], "even losers are winners at IGS". Bracket sheets will be available after the Sunday Selection Show at the elevator or go online, just get them back to me by noon Thursday March 16th. WAIT, my phone is ringing, hang on, this might be the call I have been waiting for. [ pause for suspense] Darn, somebody looking for Joe's Bar & Grill. Last but not least, remember to enter with your basketball name. If you haven't won with your current basketball name do what last years winner did. She changed her name from "Nancy I don't think were in Kansas anymore Grant" to "Jeep mom" and won the whole enchilada. I'll keep working on that sponsor and will keep you updated as their donation could be BIG, BIG, BIG. Good Luck. CRAIG

WILDGAME FEED 2016

Posted by igselevator on December 25, 2016 at 6:00 AM Comments comments (2)

  Our 14th annual wildgame feast will be on Saturday December 31st from 1 o'clock until 4. It seems every year we have people donate a variety of different types of meats, whether 2-legged, 4-legged, flying or swimming. This year our world renown chef Keith Lowe has on his menu a moose roast, from a donation from Newfoundland and 4 crates of froglegs. I have gotten to my age and I have never ate a frog leg, but everybody and I mean everybody says there delicious, I can't wait, I'm sure I'll be hoppy. [I crack myself up]. We've got the usual dishes on the menu, fish, rabbit pot pie, deerites [sloppy joes] and the whole family of kabobs, deer, duck, pheasant, goose and for you less venturesome there is chicken and pork loin. We've actually have had so much meat donated this year I won't have to drive around Linn County looking for roadkill. No more swerving this year to hit that coon or possum, and all the money I will save on cologne and tomato juice trying to cover the smell of that roadkill skunk. Everybody's invited, bring your friends and liguid refreshments. This blog is paid for by my good friends at Dekuyper Peach Schnapps. Show your support and buy me a bottle. [No more subtle hints here.] CRAIG

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2016

Posted by igselevator on December 20, 2016 at 9:15 PM Comments comments (0)

  Merry Christmas from all of us here at IGS. We wish everyone a healthy, happy and prosperous 2017. STEVE, MEGAN, TOM C., TOM B., JAMES, KAYLA, LYLE, MASON and CRAIG. The following picture has a bunch of my Hawkeye friends also wishing a Merry Christmas, after all, it's once again a Hawkeye state. CRAIG



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